Crow Seminary
A ceremonial playground for titles, absolutions, and high-grade tomfoolery.
This is simple: you email the request, GulfHost sends a QuickBooks invoice, and after it’s paid we email your PDF certificate(s).
Great for work jokes, holidays, parties, inside jokes, and that one coworker who “needs” a title.
If you’re buying for someone else
Put your name and email as the billing info. Then list the recipient name and the certificate/title for each item.
Ordering more than one
List each item on its own line: Person + Title. We invoice one line item per certificate.
Copy / Paste Request Template
Crow Seminary Certificate Request
BILLING NAME:
BILLING EMAIL:
DELIVERY EMAIL (where you want the PDFs sent):
CERTIFICATES REQUESTED (one per line):
1) RECIPIENT NAME — CERTIFICATE / TITLE
2) RECIPIENT NAME — CERTIFICATE / TITLE
3) RECIPIENT NAME — CERTIFICATE / TITLE
NOTES (optional):
Candidate Sincerity & Questionable Calling Questionnaire
Quick reality check (and a small amount of nonsense). Before the Registrar will allow your request to pass through the sacred ticket portal, please acknowledge:
Quick reality check (and a small amount of nonsense). Before the Registrar will allow your request to pass through the sacred ticket portal, please acknowledge:
- I understand a Certificate of Absolution may cleanse my spirit, but it will not help me in traffic court, at the DMV, or with parking tickets.
- I acknowledge the Official Pardon for Poor Life Choices is morale-boosting parody, not a cosmic “undo” button for consequences.
- I understand a Doctor of Divinity (Honoris Causa) is honorary and ceremonial — impressive in an email signature, but not a license to teach college, perform miracles on demand, or rewrite bylaws.
- I agree not to present any Crow Seminary title as government-recognized ordination, accreditation, licensure, or professional certification — even if it looks absolutely magnificent framed.
- Please be aware that Crow Seminary titles are ceremonial. And while you may technically have the ability to bestow the title of “Piss Boy — Certified Bucket Holder; Able to Hold the Bucket” upon your coworkers, it probably won’t work out well for you in the HR department. Just because you can, doesn’t mean that you should.
By proceeding, you affirm (telepathically, of course) that you fully understand this is parody and entertainment only.
Invoicing and digital delivery are handled by GulfHost. You’ll receive a secure QuickBooks invoice by email.
